Needs Must
by JantoJones
Summary: A good agent need to know how to improvise.


Illya Kuryakin didn't mind being cold, but he took exception to being wet. He'd been standing in the rain for almost an hour, waiting for Nathaniel Noble. The man was a chemist who, with the backing of THRUSH, had developed a chemical which could render thousands of men impotent. U.N.C.L.E. intended to prevent the distribution of the chemical by destroy the production plant. First, however, they needed to know where the plant was. The premier team of Solo and Kuryakin had been dispatched, with instructions to get the information, but to allow Dr Noble to go free afterwards. A ten man team of agents was waiting for the senior crew to get them location.

Napoleon opted to question the chemist at a motel. There was no point in dragging him all the way back to headquarters. He volunteered to stay in the room and get it prepared, and sent Illya out to apprehend their target. Naturally, the Russian had complained about Solo giving himself the easy job, only to be told that 'rank has its privileges'.

Another half hour passed by before Illya was rewarded with his quarry. Keeping his hand on the grip of his special, but not drawing it, he confronted Dr Noble. He allowed the man a glimpse of the gun, and suggested he walk towards the nearby silver car. Noble was about to protest but the gun, and the icy look in the blond's eyes, changed his mind. He did as he was instructed. Illya ordered him to get in, and as soon as Noble was settled, Illya stuck a concealed syringe into his captive's arm. The dosage of the sleeping drug would keep him under for about an hour; enough time to get to the motel.

Napoleon was waiting by the window when Illya arrived, and immediately went out to help him with the insensible chemist. They brought him into the room and sat him on the wooden chair which Napoleon had placed in the centre of the room. Within two minutes, Dr Noble was firmly tied to the chair. Illya looked around with a puzzled expression.

"You stayed behind to prepare the room," he stated. "What have you done exactly?"

"I moved the chair and untangled the rope," Solo replied, with absolutely no sense of shame.

"What about the truth serum?" Illya continued. "Is that ready?"

"Quit worrying, Tovarisch," Napoleon soothed. "I'll sort it out now."

Rummaging in the knapsack he'd been given, containing the equipment they would need, Napoleon quickly realised the serum wasn't there. Just to be sure, he completely emptied the bag, but the drug remained absent.

"We don't appear to have any truth serum," he told his partner. "Whoever prepared this bag for me, failed to put it in."

Illya swore in five different languages. Mistakes like this simply shouldn't happen. He was about to launch into a really good rant, when he noticed the possible answer to their problems out of the window.

"We may be able to salvage this," he stated. "Untie him and lay him on the bed. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He disappeared out the door, leaving Napoleon momentarily stunned. The American quickly recovered himself and did as Illya asked. He may be the senior agent, but his partner was no idiot. If Illya had a plan, he was happy to go along with it; just as soon as he found out what it was.

Kuryakin soon returned, carrying a paper bag, which clanked. It was the unmistakable sound of glass bottles. Illya grinned as he revealed his acquisition.

"In vino veritas," he announced.

"In wine, the truth," Napoleon translated. "Or in this case, vodka."

He took one of the three bottles from his friend.

"I would have thought you'd have too much Russian pride to buy paint stripper like this."

"You think I'd waste good vodka?" Illya asked, with genuine shock. "Stop insulting me and listen to my idea."

Once Illya had outlined his plan, Napoleon had to admit it was quite good. Napoleon would pretend to be a member of THRUSH, and that he had rescued Noble from his U.N.C.L.E. abductor. He would convince him that they had to hide out for a while until it was safe for him to return home. Solo would then ply the chemist with the vodka, and casually enquire about his work.

"I'll have to drink with him to start with," Napoleon pointed out. "That wouldn't be a great idea."

"Easily solved," Illya replied. "Empty one of the bottles, and fill it with water. Just don't get them mixed up."

"Where will you be during all this?"

"There's a diner across the parking lot. I'll wait there."

…

Illya was quite surprised when, only an hour later, Napoleon joined him. He'd been happily working his way down the menu, and was only half of the way through.

"Have you got what we need already?" he asked.

"Got it, and given it to Waverly," Solo replied. "It would seem that Dr Noble is not a big drinker. It took a while to get him to start drinking, but he became very inebriated fairly quickly."

"So, what now? Do we take him home?"

"No, I've left him cash for a cab, when he wakes up again."

Napoleon took note of the amount of food Illya had in front of him. It seemed that the Russian had been anticipating a longer wait. He ordered himself a coffee, and thanked God he wasn't going to suffer the hangover Nathaniel Noble would soon be experiencing.


End file.
